A Satire:Press Release from the Office of Indra Devta

Press Release from the Office of Indra Devta
Ministry of Meteorological Mysticism & Divine Precipitation
Date: 29 October 2025
Location: Swarg Lok, Cloud Chamber No. 7
It has come to our attention that certain terrestrial entities, operating under the banner of “scientific progress,” attempted to induce rainfall over Delhi — without so much as a phone call, mantra, or coconut to this office.
No havan was performed in my honour. No mantra was chanted with proper pronunciation. No frog marriage was registered with the Amphibian Matrimonial Board. Not even an RSVP to the Annual Monsoon Summit in Swarg Lok. Consequently, the request for rain was denied.
We do, however, recognise the efforts of IIT Kanpur and commend their curiosity. They were, tragically, caught in the crosswinds of political optics and spiritual negligence. Let it be known that they are absolved of all karmic liability.
To prevent future embarrassment — and dry spells — the following divine protocols are to be observed:
•Submit Form 108B: “Request for Divine Drizzle” at least seven days in advance.
•Include three coconuts, one brass kalash, and a certified priest with no fewer than 10,000 mantra-hours.
•Avoid chanting “Rain Come. Rain Come.” It lacks poetic meter and irritates celestial muses.
•And please, refrain from invoking foreign deities (especially Trump) during Indian monsoon operations.
Let this serve as a reminder: rain is not a button to be pressed. It’s a blessing to be earned.
Science, admirable as it may be, must occasionally bow — even if only metaphorically — to those who’ve managed the monsoons since the Rigveda.
Signed,
Indra Devta
Lord of Rain, Thunder, and Unread Ritual Requests
 (Disclaimer: This press release is a work of satire and creative commentary. It is not an official communication from any deity, government body, or meteorological institution (celestial or terrestrial).
The piece humorously imagines a divine bureaucratic response to recent weather modification efforts. Any resemblance to actual rituals, gods, scientists, or ministries—living, dead, or mythological—is purely coincidental and meant in good fun. Please read with a sense of humor and an umbrella handy.)
<><><>

(K G sharma Freelance journalist Retired from Indian Information Services. Former senior editor with DD News, AIR News, and PIB. Consultant with UNICEF Nigeria. Contributor to national and international media.-View are personal.)