A Satire: The Republic of Delirium: Ronald Thump’s War on Reality

In a dazzling ceremony featuring fireworks, fog machines, and a choir of cloned interns, Supreme Leader Ronald Thump awarded himself the Glorious Peace Orb—for successfully shutting down breakfast, diplomacy, and gravity.
“Triple peace,” he declared, adjusting his mirror-polished sash. “Nobody stops things like I do. I stopped wars. I stopped facts. I even stopped the Department of Sandwiches.”
This marks the third shutdown of the Republic of Delirium under Thump’s second term. The government is closed, the economy is confused, and the national weather service now reports only “vibes.”
Critics argue that while Thump claims to have stopped wars, he’s also stopped funding for veterans, education, and the national breakfast programme. “He’s basically shut down everything except his hologram speeches,” said one exhausted senator, currently living in his office and surviving on vending machine peanuts.
Meanwhile, tech mogul Elan Husk—once a Thump ally—has launched a satellite called FACTZ-9000 that beams real-time corrections onto the Presidential Palace lawn. In retaliation, Thump banned satellites, gravity, and the concept of “truth” from all government buildings.
International leaders are baffled. “He says he stopped wars, but we’re still at war,” said a diplomat from a country Thump couldn’t pronounce. “He says he deserves a Peace Orb, but he also thinks NATO is a brand of chewing gum.”
Back home, protesters have taken to the streets with signs reading “Make Delirium Open Again” and “Shutdowns Aren’t Peace.” Thump responded by declaring the protests “fake holograms” and suggesting demonstrators are paid actors from the neighboring nation of Canadia.
The Ministry of Truthiness confirmed that all facts must now be approved by Thump’s mirror. “If the mirror doesn’t like it, it’s not real,” said the Minister of Echoes, while adjusting his monocle made of recycled campaign promises.
In a final twist, Thump unveiled his own version of the Peace Orb: the “Thumpel Trophy,” awarded to himself every morning in a ceremony involving confetti, lasers, and a choir singing “Hail to The Ego” in seven-part harmony.
Next week, Thump plans to declare peace with Mars and appoint himself Ambassador to the Moon. The Moon has yet to respond, but insiders say it’s considering a restraining order.
As Delirium remains shut and the Peace Orb committee remains silent, one thing is clear: Ronald Thump may not have stopped wars, but he’s certainly started a new one—with reality.
(Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. All characters, organizations, and events depicted—whether real or fictionalized—are used for humorous and critical purposes only. The content is intended to entertain and provoke thought, not to defame, misrepresent, or cause harm. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or real events is purely coincidental or used in a satirical context protected under principles of free expression.)
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(Krishan Gopal Sharma is a freelance journalist, retired as a senior officer from the Indian Information Services. Contributed to leading dailies in India and abroad, covered major summits like BRICS, ASEAN, and Metropolis, and served as an International Media Consultant with UNICEF (Nigeria) for their Polio Eradication campaign.)